Questions that matter…

Questions that matter…

Turn any page of any book, read a few lines; you are bound to come across a few questions about the text or the tale in your mind. Questions are the reason for every progress man has ever achieved. Edison’s questioned charge, Newton questioned the Apple fall and Einstein questioned physics itself. Questions are the reason we are studying days and nights. Questions are the sole reason due to which man evolved from an ape to today’s devil.
Apart from all these public or social questions, there are a few questions that are way too personal to share. Better still there are some questions that we come across once in many years. They are the questions which make us question ourselves. Sometimes these questions are, well, too simple yet one fails to answer even a part of it. These are the questions that shiver each strand of the body. And sometimes these questions come from the most unimaginable sources and that makes even more difficult to answer.

Last evening, I was stuck by such a question. It was so simple and clean yet I failed to answer it. The most unimaginable person asked me the question, yet I couldn’t answer even a part of it.
A girl asked me this question, a sweet little girl, studying in the first standard. We were laughing, giggling and joking around as usual and out of nowhere, she questioned me, “Bhaiya, ap hamesha itne sad sad kyun rehete ho? Hamesha jhoot moot ka kyon haste ho?” (Brother, why do you always seem so sad? Why do you show a fake smile everytime?)

Truly speaking, I was caught off-guard. A small five year girl had cornered me with an innocent question. What could I say her? How could I reply that ever since someone has left my life, has also taken away my smile? How could I tell her that I really haven’t smiled since last one year? How could even she see something that even the closest people around me couldn’t notice even after knowing me for more than a decade? How could she see the thing that even I  ignored easily? How could she see through my eyes to the deepest chamber of secrets? Or was it just a co-incidence?

I gave a big smile and started replying, “Areh, I have studies na…..” (Cause I have studies no….) but she cut me off demanding, “Mujhe koi kahani mat batao, sach batao.” (Don’t dare any stories with me, tell the truth.) I was again stripped off. Another girl (my classmate) sat with us, I asked her for help. That little astrologer cut me again, “Ap kyon sad ho, didi kyon bolegi. Ap ki Bolo.”  ( Why will she tell the reason of your grief? You only speak out the truth.)

This little girl’s innocence had taken me back to everything that happened with me in the past 30 months; reminding me of every mistake I committed, every wrong decision I made in those 30 months. Finally I had to answer her, “Areh mera ek dost door chala gaya hai na, isiliye.” (Nothing, just because I miss a friend of mine who has gone far away.)

Thank God! She didn’t question me further. Any more question and I would have started crying in front of a girl who is 13 years younger than me and another girl who is a little more than a year younger to me. 
There are questions that remind some people the gravest mistakes they ever did. And there are some questions that remind some other people of the most beautiful moments of their entire life. And there are a few questions that remind some people of the regret they carry everyday for not being able to keep that happy time intact. For me, it was all- mistakes, wrong decisions, beautiful moments, regrets and even tears.